Your child's first smartphone

• A smartphone changes everyday family life
• Rules provide security
• Be a role model in dealing with media
• Trust is important and control can help
• Technical settings: Step by step instead of all at once
• Age of the child
• As a parent, you can also be unsure
• Excursus: Messenger WhatsApp
• Source

There comes a time in almost every family when a child wants their own smartphone or when parents feel better if their child has a smartphone with them. This is often associated with moving to a new school, or friends are already using a smartphone for chatting, playing games, taking photos or recording videos. Many parents then ask themselves : "Is my child ready for this?" But an equally important question is: "Are we as parents ready for this?" Because as parents, it is our job to help our children use their smartphones. The first smartphone marks the start of a new phase not only for the child, but also for the parents, for which it is important to prepare - and not just at the last minute and half-heartedly, but seriously with the right information. The smartphone as a gateway to the world not only brings many opportunities for children, but also risks and challenges that need to be well prepared for.

Think about which rules are important to you in advance, because children need clear and understandable rules.

• When can the smartphone be used?
• What can and should it be used for?
• Where is it at night? Which apps are allowed?
• How much screen time is okay?

These rules should be discussed together. This way, children feel that they are being taken seriously and know where they stand. Over time, rules can adapt to the reality of children's lives and responsibilities. It is important that they are comprehensible. Punishment through media bans should be avoided. At the same time, we must not forget: As an adult, you are the greatest role model for your children.

If you as a parent are constantly looking at your cell phone, it is difficult to make your child understand that they should only use their smartphone sporadically. Consciously using your own device is often more effective than many words. Organize mobile-free times together, for example at mealtimes or before bedtime. This is good for the whole family. At the same time, it helps to communicate why mom is sitting at the table with her smartphone, e.g. because she is reading the newspaper.

Many parents are worried that children and young people will come into contact with difficult content. This is understandable! Therefore: Familiarize yourself with the technical protection functions and parental controls . Many of the latest websites offer specific procedures and step-by-step instructions on how to make your smartphone childproof before children get their hands on it. Once the right settings and rules have been found, it also helps if parents ask their children to show them from time to time which apps are installed on their smartphone or take a look at their children's chat to see who they are in contact with. And if children have so much trust in their parents that they know they can come to their parents at any time, this is the jackpot for successful media education - especially if they have seen something that scares them, causes them shame or makes them feel insecure. Therefore, create a trusting space in which you allow your children to make mistakes, listen to them and keep talking to them.

The same applies:

There is still no ideal age for the first smartphone. There is also no right time, but there are changes in a child's life that may require a smartphone and the associated communication options: e.g. a longer journey to school, appointments for hobbies, appointments with friends or to make arrangements with the school. More important than the age and time is the question of how independent and responsible the child is.

• Can they follow rules?
• Can they put their smartphone aside and concentrate on homework?
• Can they tell others openly if they encounter something unpleasant online?
• Do they know that not everything that happens online is harmless?

Generally speaking, there is no such thing as THE perfect device for getting started and there is no such thing as THE right protection settings, because every child consumes differently.

And last but not least, don't forget:

It's perfectly okay not to know everything. The digital world is changing so quickly and no one has an answer or solution for everything. The important thing is that you have the willingness to learn and grow together with your children and stay in contact with them. Get support - from other parents, from the school, from checklists and information on the internet! You will find that others have the same uncertainties and questions. If parents are prepared to accompany their child, discuss rules, listen and deal with media confidently, an important step has already been taken. It is not perfection that counts, but attention, trust and joint development. Media literacy does not develop overnight - it grows with relationships and time.

The minimum age for WhatsApp is 13, but WhatsApp is the messenger that many children use as their first messenger on their smartphone. Discuss the individual functions with your child and set the privacy protection to the highest possible level. The WhatsApp channels are a particular challenge. Children have the opportunity to view content without leaving WhatsApp. These can be links to YouTube, for example, which are posted directly to the channels. No technical parental control settings apply here. Children can open their own channels and invite followers via an invitation link. Channels cannot yet be deactivated. However, parental control programs on smartphones can restrict access to YouTube from WhatsApp. Take a look at alternative messengers that may allow safer use.

1] JIM Study 2025, Media Education Research Association Southwest, https://mpfs.de/studie/jim-studie-2025/